The Boarding School
by AllTimeNatalie
Summary: Vince is the new boy at a boarding school in Leeds but what happens when he makes it his policy to wreak havoc and meets a boy called Howard? T to be safe.
1. Led Zeppelin in Flares

**DISCLAIMER: ****I own no rights to the Mighty Boosh or the characters. I basically own nothing in this story including Wild Child. XD **

**A/N: ****Hi guys, thanks for reading and please leave a review to tell me what'cha thought. Thanks. This story is inspired by the film **_**Wild Child **_**which I love and I didn't think had been done yet so I apologise if it has. **

**SUMMARY: ****Vince is the new boy at a boarding school in Leeds but what happens when he makes it his policy to wreak havoc and meets a boy called Howard? **

**TITLE: ****The Boarding School**

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**The Boarding School**

**Chapter 1- Led Zeppelin in flares **

"So this is it?" Vince asked as he stepped out of the car and stared at the school. It looked like a fancier version of Hogwarts from Harry Potter, not that he'd seen that film but he'd heard about it and seem pictures.

"Can you just try to fit in please Vincey?" His mum asked and licked her thumb before running it over her son's hair and noticing him grow further and further annoyed.

"Uh no, you're my mum but you can't touch my hair. Only I can tough my hair, me and people who I give permission to now maybe I would let you if you didn't have mum germs on your thumb." His mother rolled her eyes and nodded then got the luggage out of the boot. "So boarding school?" His voice was unbelieving and his dad was the least to say impressed when Vince dug his iPod earphones into his ears and turned Led Zeppelin on full blast.

"Vince, turn that off and make a good first impression." Doing as his father said, he took the earphones out and turned it on hold then sighed when a boy his age with brown hair and a lopsided moustache bounded over.

"Well hi there; you must be Mr and Mrs Noir. I am Howard Moon and I will be helping Vince while he is here to settle in and learn all of the ropes. Now before we start are there any questions?" The smaller man raised his hand and Howard smiled.

"Yeah actually I was wondering do I have to wear that or can I jazz it up a bit?" He asked, eying the blue, green and black uniform. "I don't do blue and green, I prefer red maybe a bit of light blue or purple but certainly not green." Howard sighed and shook his head in dismay.

"Umm hold on there camper, we have to stick to the rules but I think you are allowed to customize it a little bit but don't go over the top." Vince nodded and smiled, it was okay that you could do a bit of tweaking. His parents took his three full-sized suitcases to his room which he would share with Howard and a small boy called Naboo who liked to wear turbans. When his suitcases were under his bed as best as they could fit, Vince turned to Howard and smiled,

"'Oward? What's up with 'im?" The northern teen followed Vince's glance until he reached an entranced Naboo. "Is 'e alright or should we go and get someone?"

"Naboo? Naboo are you in a trance?" Naboo snapped out of his trance and smiled, pulling his earphones out and shaking his head.

"No, I'm listening to Fleetwood Mac, Tusks." Vince scoffed and looked down at his uniform which he had changed into. "What's up with you?" The tiny, young Shaman asked in a lisp.

"Well, it's this uniform, I usually dress like Led Zeppelin in flares but this is a major style issue. I think it could use some chains, a belt and maybe even a few badges." Vince smiled, pulling a make-up bag from his third suitcase and smiling as he picked out his special belt with three lines of fake metal spikes. They were obviously blunt but Howard saw it as a health hazard so he changed to his comic design one. He also acquired three badges and added them to the mix, one with Gary Numan on it, one of a smiley face and one of a monkey wearing a headscarf. He then finished his outfit off with four silver chains which he sewed onto his blazer pockets.

"Well? Do I look amazing?" Howard frowned and shook his head.

"I don't mean to offend but you like an absolute idiot. There's no way you will get away with that and if you do then… well that's pointless because you'll never get away with it. Excuse me Sir; can you pull your tie up please?" Howard gave an unimpressed look at Vince's uniform. His tie was half way down his chest and his shirt, un-tucked with the top button unfastened. He had decided to ditch the school pants and wear some drainpipes tucked into some white Chelsea boots. He thought he looked great and so would any other person with a taste for the_ Futuristic Camden Prostitute look. _

""Well that's alright for you to say innit, you've got no style but me? I have to set examples for people. I'm the trendsetter." Howard stared wistfully at Vince but soon shook it off. He was so… different but Howard liked it, the whole concept of this difference made hi think that maybe he wasn't so bad after all.

"Look alright, fine I'll let you get away with it but if you get into trouble, don't blame me alright?" Vince nodded and patted Howard's shoulder thankfully. "Oh yeah and… don't touch me will ya?"

"Oh right yeah sorry. So what's the first lesson of today? ICT, PSHE, Fashion lessons?" Howard sighed and shook his head.

"No, actually it's maths." Vince's face fell and he also sighed. "C'mon, it's not that bad. Let me show you around." Howard smiled in an attempt to make the situation a little better.

"Alright yeah that'd be genius." Vince smiled, following Howard out of the drab room.

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**TBC**

**A/N: There's your first chapter. Reviews will keep this one going. :D So please review if you wanna keep this story going. **

**Updates soon. **

**~Mrs O.G ;) xxx**


	2. First Impresions

**DISCLAIMER: ****I own no rights to the Mighty Boosh or the characters. I basically own nothing in this story including Wild Child. XD **

**A/N: ****Hi guys, thanks for reading and please leave a review to tell me what'cha thought. Thanks. This story is inspired by the film **_**Wild Child **_**which I love and I didn't think had been done yet so I apologise if it has. **

**SUMMARY: ****Vince is the new boy at a boarding school in Leeds but what happens when he makes it his policy to wreak havoc and meets a boy called Howard? **

**TITLE: ****The Boarding School**

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**The Boarding School**

**Chapter 2- First Impressions **

"So this here is the first ICT room, it's got all the facilities in it, computers, screens, plugs." Vince nodded; you did need those things for it to be a computer room. "Now you are welcome to use this room as long as it's before your curfew."

"Which is…?" Vince raised an eyebrow, hoping for it to be really late so he could stay up and have a lie in the next day.

"10:00." Howard smiled, to him that was late, like an all-nighter at a sleep over.

"10:00! 10:00, my parents don't even go to bed at 10:00! They go at 12:01, they're rebels!" Howard sighed at Vince's resilient voice and let a shocked gasp erupt from his lungs when he saw Vince grasp his phone and dial a number. "Alright Leroy? Yeah, this is well mank I have to go to bed at 10. Yeah I know… yeah I know what parent does? Anyway Leroy, the head master's coming and if he sees me talking to you he'll have my head and I can't have that, yeah alright bye Leroy." When he hung up and put his phone away, the head master walked by and scowled. He had a weird name, something like Bob Fossil but he seemed to like Howard.

"Noir, Put that moble phone away now!" Vince tried so hard to contain the laughter but sometimes, he just had to laugh.

"Moble phone? You mean mobile phone? Anyway, this goes everywhere with me it's like Howard and you. If you look, you can pick from 12 ringtones like Gary and Led Zeppelin and Mick Jagger." Bob smiled happily at Vince and sighed.

"That's amazing Vince, why don't you tell it to a squirrel you peanut!" Vince smiled cheekily, his eyes filled with devilish delight.

"Actually Fossil, squirrels eat chestnuts not peanuts. I think you'll find that maybe just maybe you've gone a little bit wrong somewhere." Howard leant close to Vince's ear and whispered quietly.

"You're in for it now. No one's ever spoken like that to Mr Fossil like that or anyone who has was never seen again." The smaller man gulped aloud until the head-teacher placed a hand on his blazer.

"Oh, I love what you've done with your uniform. We're all about uniqueness here at the Leeds Acadiverse." Vince smiled and winked at Howard. He didn't how he had done it but he clearly had Fossil won over.

"Thanks mate, I just accessorized a bit and voila, my outfit completed. Oh, Mr Fossil? Why is it called the Leeds Acadiverse?" Bob sighed and placed his hands in a 'trance' like position.

"I wanted to bring the children a universe of education and fun so instead of Leeds Academy, it's the Leeds Acadiverse. A mix of Universe and Academy so children can have the life they want to live." Vince had gone by the time his recollections were over so he continued down the hallway.

"Having fun are you? Mr Fossil never talks to us like that." Howard whispered with hints of jealousy melting into his words like warm Nutella. "He treats us like miniature slaves. I'm sick of it Vince, why can't we all be treated as equal?" Vince was sat playing a thumb war with Naboo but he was listening.

"He doesn't talk to me like that." Naboo chuckled and held down Vince's thumb. "Yes, I win again! That's thrice now!" Vince sighed and handed over his favourite blue gem stone. "Cheers Vince, I'll put this on my turban. Howard? What do you think red or blue?"

"I don't know! Just… come on we have to get to class. I can't believe they let you were turbans but they wont let me wear my jazz hat." Naboo sighed and followed the ranting maverick out of the room. "It's just not fair. Favouritism, that's what it is!" Howard screamed before turning the handle and walking into the class. "Mr Fossil." He smiled, taking his seat and placing his bag on the seat next to him so Vince couldn't sit down. He was far too mad right now to deal with him.

"Howard you ball-bag where am I gonna sit? Naboo's sitting with Barry!" Vince whined, looking over and smiling at Barry. "Alright Barry," Barry waved back and looked at the book in front of him. "Mr Fossil!"

"Howard, move your bag! What do you think this is a party with a hoard of horny antelope? Now pay attention and steer right." Reluctantly, Howard moved his bag and Vince flashed a shockingly wide smile in his direction.

"Cheers mate." Vince smiled and sat down, picking up a pen and continuously clicking it.

"Can you shut up please? You've already dobbed me in to the big guns, what so now clicking a pen to get me to spiral into insanity is your next ploy?" Vince put the pen down to hear Fossil typically say 'now pick up your pens'. Vince cheekily smiled at Howard and started to scribble his name onto the paper. "Vince, its black or blue not vibrant orange." Howard whispered only to get told off again by Bob.

"Yeah Howard, be quiet you idiot I can't hear Mr Fossil." Vince chuckled and wrote the date, changing his pen to vibrant pink. He had laid out all of his pens, deferring from pink to orange to green to electric, vibrant blue that glowed in the dark. "'Ere Mr Fossil? What's that going on with your hair?" Bob ran his fingers through his hair and shrugged. "I could sort that out for you." Vince smiled, chewing on his pen.

"Teacher's pet." A boy sat behind Vince mumbled, causing him to turn around and stare.

"What did you say?" Vince asked when Mr Fossil left to get some paper.

"I said teacher's pet." The boy repeated himself but louder and squared up to Vince, pushing him backwards. Howard was next to stand up and push the boy who had begun to bully Vince.

"Yeah Mickey, let's go and sit down and sort this hostility out yeah?"

"I am not hostile!" Mickey shouted, punching Howard square in the face. "You are the hostile one you great lump of…" Before he could finish, Bob walked through the door and shot a challenging expression in his direction.

"Mickey sit down, Vince take Howard to the MI room and then come and cut my hair when he's done up there." Vince did as Fossil said and lead Howard to the medical examination sector of the school then sat down beside him and pressed the tissue he was holding to Howard's nose to stop the bleeding.

"Don't touch me! I can do it myself I'm not a kid." Vince smiled and pulled his hand away so Howard couldn't get the tissue.

"'Oward, for once in your life let someone 'elp ya." Reluctantly, Howard let Vince brush the blood away with a wet cloth and press a tissue to his face to soak up any blood dripping from his busted nose. "Besides, I know people who'd die to have me pressing tissues to their bleeding noses."

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**TBC **

**A/N:** Well? Did you like it? Next chapter soonly. Remember, reviews will keep this one going.


	3. The First Prank

**DISCLAIMER: ****I own no rights to the Mighty Boosh or the characters. I basically own nothing in this story including Wild Child. XD **

**A/N: ****Hi guys, thanks for reading and thanks for all the reviews so far. :D **

**SUMMARY: ****Vince is the new boy at a boarding school in Leeds but what happens when he makes it his policy to wreak havoc and meets a boy called Howard? **

**TITLE: ****The Boarding School**

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**The Boarding School**

**Chapter 3- The first prank **

"Yeah, well I'm not one of those people. If you hadn't said that you'd cut Mr Fossil's hair we wouldn't be in this mess." Howard winced when the antiseptic cotton bud touched the cut and hid a silent yelp of pain.

"Alright, I'm sorry but no one asked you to help me." Vince chuckled and peeled the backing off a plaster, it reminded him of when he played doctors and nurses at nursery but he always got stuck being a nurse. "Tell you what, why don't we not bother going back? I've got something better to do." Vince said with a mischievous grin spread across his face.

"What?" Howard's voice was afraid; he couldn't mess up his perfect attendance because someone flutters their unusually long eyelashes and has strangely blue eyes. Especially seen as it was Mr Fossil's class, he was already on his war list.

"We're going to pull a prank on Mr Fossil." Vince smiled and threw the empty plaster packet in the bin. "He hates Gary Numan right?" Howard nodded, his tiny eyes swirling with rippling confusion.

"Yeah, he had an allergic reaction, his neck went all big." Howard sighed, thinking he had already worked it out pretty bang on.

"Well, I say we sneak into his office, he's always dancing to it strangely like an erotic panda, so we change his tape to my Gary Numan one, he has a strange reaction and starts freaking out and in the pandemonium, we sneak and swap them back. Think about it, he's always making fun of you and I heard that you were his bitch. That's word on the street." Vince smiled and stood up, making his way to the door frame. "So are you in or not?"

"I'm in." Howard regrettably sighed, adding as an after thought "I am not Fossil's bitch." Vince merely rolled his eyes and made sure the hall way was clear before leading Howard to their room and searching his collection of tapes.

"Aha, here we go… Numan, best of and what's even more electric? Track one- Cars!" Howard rolled his eyes at the childlike delight in Vince's gleaming eyes and simply followed him back to Fossil's office. "Right, you guard the door while I change the tape. Hey 'Oward? We're like the A Team." Vince chuckled, taking the hint and placing the CD in the radio. "And now, we wait!" There was about half an hour left of the lesson so they made themselves comfortable on the floor in a corner. "Howard? Why did you stand up for me?" Vince asked as brown connected with blue.

"Well because… I didn't want you to get hurt." Howard whispered and turned away, pretending to have dropped something from his pocket. Vince smiled, no one had ever done that for him before, it felt nice having someone there even if he wasn't his friend properly. Bob opened the door, hitting Vince square in the face. "You alright little man?" Howard's voice was laced with concern but Vince was just a picture of embarrassment. He had never had a nickname either.

"Little man?" Vince asked looking at Howard but keeping his voice low like Howard had. Howard simply looked away but Vince smiled again. "I like it; it has a ring to it." When Bob turned on his radio and started to have a panic attack, Vince and Howard just laughed hysterically and Vince fell over backwards, Howard pulling him back up to a sitting position. "Suppose we should get your tape back." Howard smiled and Vince also flashed a toothy grin.

"Nah, Gary can wait, this is gold." Agreeing, the taller man peeked over the door at a frenzied Mr Fossil and almost broke into tears with joy. "Told you it was fun to break the rules a little." Vince giggled playfully and stood up.

"Moon, Noir, I want you in my office immediately!" Bob screamed and turned red with embarrassment. Vince and Howard exchanged worried glances then walked out of the room to knock on the door.

"You said you wanted to see us." Howard shakily said, Vince dropping his head into his hands and groaning. He never meant to get Howard in trouble, he inflicted a Chinese burn upon himself when he got a detention, Naboo told him.

"What were you playing at exactly? I am very disappointed in you Moon, this I would expect from you Vince but certainly not you. I'm afraid that I am going to have to give you two weeks detention and you have to scrub the dishes as well." Howard put his hand around his wrist and was about to begin the Chinese burn when Vince put his hand on Howard's hand eased it away from his wrist. "Now get out of my oval shaped vision hole's sight!" With that, he shut the door in their face and Vince turned to Howard.

"Sorry Howard, I didn't know we would get into trouble." Vince sighed and dropped his gaze to the floor.

"It's okay, I actually had fun then. I mean I am a little disappointed that we got detention hence the burn but surprisingly I had fun but what did I tell you about touching me? Don't ever touch me especially when I am mid Chinese burn!" Vince rolled his eyes and checked Howard's brown and beige watch.

"Come on, let's go and grab some lunch, we have a one hour break yeah? Let's catch up with Naboo; I have to show him this." Howard covered his gaping mouth when he saw the video on Vince's phone of a mad Bob Fossil doing what looked like a drugged up emu dancing.

**TBC **

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**A/N: There you go, another chapter! Hope you enjoyed it. :D **


	4. Wash up Duty

**DISCLAIMER: ****I own no rights to the Mighty Boosh or the characters. I basically own nothing in this story including Wild Child. XD **

**A/N: ****Hi guys, thanks for reading and thanks for all the reviews so far guys, means a lot. :D **

**SUMMARY: ****Vince is the new boy at a boarding school in Leeds but what happens when he makes it his policy to wreak havoc and meets a boy called Howard? **

**TITLE: ****The Boarding School**

**o0o0o0o0o0o0o**

**The Boarding School**

**Chapter 4- Wash up Duty**

"Naboo!" Vince shouted as he ran ever so masculine like across the dinner hall at lightning speed, almost crashing into the shaman who was handing over his dinner money. Howard followed behind, employing the 'fast walk' technique.

"Vince slow down!" Naboo shouted, placing his dinner tray on the metal counter and stopping the overexcited boy from crashing into him. "Right, what is it?" The smaller boy picked up his dinner tray and carried it to a table, Vince and Howard sitting down opposite him and Vince handing over his phone.

"Check this out." Naboo cracked a smile at first and then burst out into fits of tears. Bob was behind and Naboo turned to come face to face with the devil himself.

"Naboo, I never wanted to do this but you are on wash up duty." Naboo dropped his head onto the table and looked up at Vince and Howard through one eye before mouthing the words 'thanks a lot'.

**Half an Hour later **

"It's not that bad." Vince giggled, placing a dish on the drying rack.

"Not that bad? Today's special was slop on a plate." Howard sighed and pulled his rubber gloves on then picked up a towel and began to dry the dishes.

"Well actually it was apple crumble." Howard rolled his eyes at how jolly Vince was. He was always happy, nothing ever fazed him. He saw a peanut, it was a jamboree for Vince Noir, he witnessed some gravel, all of his Christmases had come at once. "Last time I had apple crumble it wasn't like this. It looks like mushy peas." Naboo, who had been silent throughout the whole episode, finally spoke up having tried some of the 'apple pie'.

"It tasted like mushy peas to." Naboo chuckled along with Vince but Howard remained totally serious. "Cheer up Howard, its only apple pie." Howard shook his head miserably and sighed.

"It's not because of the apple pie." Howard sighed. "It's Dixon Bainbridge. He's already head boy and I've been here longer than 'im." Naboo hated Dixon too and fell silent at the mention of his name. Vince of course brightened the mood by putting some soap-suds on a washing up brush and flicking it at Howard, hitting him square in the face.

"Oh what a shot!" Vince exclaimed, receiving a shot back and yelping when it landed in his hair. "Noooooooo! You've done it now Moon!" Vince squealed, flicking some soap at him but hitting Naboo instead.

"Vince you Ball-bag you've got soap all over my turban." Howard smiled at the sight of the angry Shaman.

"Easy Naboo, remember Peacock Dreams." Naboo turned to look and give Howard evil eyes.

"Peacock can suck my arse this is war!" With that, Naboo picked up some apple pie and threw it forcefully at Vince but hit Howard instead on the forehead.

"Naboo, what did I do?" Howard returned the shot and soon an apple pie and soap conflict had broken out between the three. The kitchen looked as though an apple bomb had fallen over the residence and the three were sat in a corner, Vince picking crust out of his hair, Naboo sponging his turban and Howard sponging the work tops. Bob walked in and almost had a heart attack like he did when Gary Numan came on his radio.

"That's it you three, I want you in my office again now!" Naboo was first to go, then Vince and Howard traipsed behind. When they arrived, they each sat down on a chair and waited patiently.

"Right, you have lost your privilege of going out this weekend. You have two weeks detention and you cannot go out, now let's see if you start fights again. I would say you have to wash the kitchen but I don't trust you. Naboolio, I am very disappointed."

"Sorry Mr Fossil, it won't happen again." Naboo whispered in a lisp.

"It's okay, just remember and steer clear of this office." When they were back in their room as classes had finished, Naboo flopped down on his bed and threw his turban into the washing pile of dirty clothes.

"Great, what are we gonna do now? I was planning on going to the cinema tomorrow with Pete." Howard shrugged and sat on his bed, Vince smiled with devilish delight.

"We don't have to go out to have fun, not when there's a whole heap of pranks we can do." Vince looked over at Howard and Naboo then at Fossil's car through the window. "If we can't go out, Fossil can't either."

**TBC **

**A/N: Well? Did you like it? Updates soon I hope and keep reviewing. Thanks to all who've reviewed so far. :D **


	5. Breakin' Out

**DISCLAIMER: ****I own no rights to the Mighty Boosh or the characters. I basically own nothing in this story. XD **

**A/N: ****Hi guys, thanks for reading and thanks for all the reviews so far guys, means a lot. :D **

**SUMMARY: ****Vince is the new boy at a boarding school in Leeds but what happens when he makes it his policy to wreak havoc and meets a boy called Howard? **

**TITLE: ****The Boarding School**

**o0o0o0o0o0o0o**

**The Boarding School**

**Chapter 5- Breakin' Out **

"So what are we gonna do?" Naboo asked, placing his soggy turban on a table to dry off.

"We are going to throw a party. Fossil can't leave if there's somethin' goin' on here can he? He has to stay here and sort it out so we are gonna be the somethin'." Vince sounded ecstatic with his plan but Howard and Naboo just looked at each other with disbelief.

"And this is going to work?" Howard asked, his words holding seldom belief in the thought.

"Yeah! Of course it will." Vince shouted, spinning around in a circle and falling onto Howard's bed next to him. He lay there and stared up at him with his big baby blues until Howard gave in.

"Alright then fine. What should I do?" Howard asked as Vince pondered for a minute and gazed over to the short shaman who was sitting on the bed and having a thumb war with Barry from a different room. "You can get Fleetwood Mac over there to get on the phone with his Shaman friends." Howard nodded and looked at Vince, his eyes intertwined with curiosity.

"And what will you be doing?" Vince picked up his phone from his pocket and waved it around.

"I will be phoning half the female population of Camden and be telling them to get their arses down here!" Howard chuckled under his breath and hid it by coughing. He was Howard Tom Jerry Moon, he did not laugh at things like that.

"Right okay then, Barry can you get lost please?" Barry looked up dejectedly and walked out of the room, Naboo giving him an evil glare. "Alright, alright just call the board of Shaman and tell them that there's a party here tonight." Naboo nodded and stared at Vince through confused and slightly scared eyes.

"Shit Vince what are you doing?" Vince stopped what he was doing to look at a shocked Naboo and Howard. "Put the crowbar down!"

"No… we are breakin' out!" Naboo fell back onto his bed and pulled the phone to his ear.

"Yeah, can I ring you back Dennis?" Naboo was in so much shock that he almost fainted. "Vince you cannot break out of the school!" Vince shrugged and pulled the window up with the crowbar.

"Yeah maybe you can't but I can so are you coming or not?" They looked at each other with deep contemplation and nodded finally. "Genius! Follow me and don't do anything stupid." Naboo and Howard nodded obediently and jumped out of the window after him, carefully holding onto the window ledge so they didn't fall off. "Right, be careful." The three edged their way over to a small ledge where there was a dumpster dead below so they were safe to fall onto it. "Oh and Howard? Be careful not to fall into the dumpster."

"You seem to know this route all too well." Howard smiled and noticed the grin which spread onto Vince's face.

"Where d'ya think I go at night? I don't just sit around here all night; I go out and then sneak back in. You should come with me one night when the hall monitor's gone." Howard and Naboo nodded in agreement and slid into the night with Vince. It wasn't completely dark but the sky was a slightly darker shade of blue than the one it had been all day. "We'll need drinks and I mean proper drinks like Flirtinis."

"What's a Flirtini?" Howard asked in a confused voice as they ambled down the cobbled streets.

"It's a champagne cocktail with pineapple and a twist of lime." Howard was now in a state of shock, displaying a gaping hole for a mouth.

"We are _not _old enough to drink!" Vince nodded and smiled.

"I know but watch this." he walked into the shop and Howard followed. "Hello young sir, I was wondering if you may have some vintage champagne for my wife's birthday. Women, they always expect the best do they not Richmond?" Naboo laughed along with Vince assuming he was 'Richmond'.

"Yeah, do you boys have ID?" Vince smiled and began to walk out of the shop.

"Well that could've gone better." Howard sighed and flopped down onto the curb, Vince simply portrayed a toothy smile.

"Could it?" He asked as he pulled his fake leopard fur coat open to reveal several bottles of alcohol. Howard smiled back and stood up, Naboo rolling his eyes in a way which portrayed the expression of 'I do not know these people'. "Alright, now we need lights. Multicoloured lights like in clubs." Howard shook his head.

"No way, Howard Moon will not be getting mixed up in things like this, no sir. You cannot go and buy multicoloured lights" How would you put them up?" Howard's voice had gone unusually high pitched like a huge, poisonous spider had decided to crawl up his arm or something.

"Relax, this is gonna be great!" Vince ever so masculine like skipped down the road and smiled. "Come on!" The other boys soon broke into a run but Naboo's was more like a fast walk, his trainers slowed him down. When they arrived back, Vince gave Howard the bags and climbed onto the dumpster, Howard passing him the bags and following. They both helped Naboo up and began to scale the wall. Soon they reached their window and Vince threw the bags through the window but that was when disaster struck. His hand slipped and within a minute, Vince was in the middle of a life or death situation. He was hanging by one hand whish was violently sliding down the concrete windowsill. When the last thing holding him from the cold ground fell, Vince fell with it, Howard wrapping his hand around his slim wrist.

"Are you okay little man?" Vince was almost in shock but he managed to nod and sigh with relief.

"Yeah, thanks." Howard edged his way further and further to the window and dragged both him and the smaller man through the window, Naboo following closely behind.

"And you're sure you're okay?" Again Vince nodded and pulled Howard into a hug. "Don't touch me!" Howard squealed but fell comfortably silent soon afterwards in Vince's arms.

"Howard, you saved my life, why would I not hug you?" Vince's voice was slightly muffled from Howard's hair but he heard him even so. "Thanks again mate." Naboo was curled up on his bed from exhaustion.

"Night guys, I'm shattered." Howard pulled away and stared at Vince's bright blue eyes.

"Night Naboo, night Vince." Giving Howard one last squeeze, Vince smiled widely and walked to his bed and lay back into the covers.

"Night Naboo, night Howard." Maybe the boarding school wasn't so bad after all.

**TBC **

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**A/N: **There you go another chapter. Thanks for all the reviews so far. :D


	6. Party Prep and Crimping

**DISCLAIMER: ****I own no rights to the Mighty Boosh or the characters. I basically own nothing in this story. XD **

**A/N: ****Hi guys, thanks for reading and thanks for all the reviews so far guys, means a lot. :D **

**SUMMARY: ****Vince is the new boy at a boarding school in Leeds but what happens when he makes it his policy to wreak havoc and meets a boy called Howard? **

**TITLE: ****The Boarding School**

**o0o0o0o0o0o0o**

**The Boarding School**

**Chapter 6- Party Prep and Crimping **

The next day, the boys began part planning and Naboo called his familiar, Bollo. Vince was looking out of the window when Howard came up behind him and sighed.

"Vince, do you think that a party is such a good idea?" His voice was shaky and unsure; his last party was a disaster.

"Yeah, parties are well genius!" Vince smiled with such child like innocence. "I went to one before I got sent here, it had a bouncy castle. I bounced as high as my own head." Vince smiled and gestured with his hand where he bounced to.

"As if you did." Howard said in a glum voice. He was never one for parties; he hadn't had a birthday party since he was three.

"I did, I swear on my own life that I did." Vince again was filled with simple enthusiasm and his eyes were almost fluorescent. "Have you ever crimped?" Howard looked up, he did crimp but his parents didn't like it. "I crimp all the time but no one else gets it."

"I crimp." Howard smiled and burst into a crimp. "Bouncy, Bouncy, ooh such a good time. Bouncy, Bouncy, shoes all in a line. Bouncy, Bouncy, everybody summersault. Summersault, summertime, everybody sing along. Bouncy, Bouncy, ooh such a good time. Bouncy, Bouncy ooh, Bouncy, Bouncy ooh! Every time I bounce, I feel I touch the sky!" Vince joined in half way through and smiled, Naboo staring at them in shock.

"Can you two keep it down? I'm trying to listen to Peacock Dreams." Howard smiled at the short one and nodded.

"Sorry Naboo." He finally said and looked at Vince. "Have you heard the twisty one?" Vince nodded and again they broke into a crimp with actions.

"This is unbelievable, I love crimping! I wrote a crimp book." Vince smiled and pulled it out of his bag. "See, its thirty pages so far but some pages have got my scribbles on. I drew this the other day. That's me, you and Naboo." The drawing was quite good and detailed.

"Where's my face?" Howard asked, pointing to the drawing of him.

"There." Vince smiled and put his finger over Howard's.

"That is _not _my face sir. My face has eyes and a nose and a mouth that's nothing, just a blob on a suit." Howard's voice was annoyed and hurt.

"I draw what I see." Vince smiled and sighed. "Alright, I'll try and draw a proper one but I'm not promising anything okay?" Howard nodded and smiled, he had the suit right. It was a good drawing of Naboo, very life-like and he had done his hair perfectly. "But what'ya think?" Vince asked and looked at him through hopeful eyes.

"It's good. You've drawn Naboo's turban right." Howard smiled and looked from the drawing to the turban and back again. "Yeah, perfect." Vince was now grinning with a toothy smile.

"Really? Oh thanks Howard. Now about this party, there'll be girls there. You could use a girlfriend right? Well there you go, you'd definitely pull if you say the right things and have the right look." Howard nodded and smiled.

"Well when you put it like that… okay then fine." He sighed, dropping his gaze to the floor.

"Right, cheers Howard this'll be well genius." Vince sighed and picked up a pink light. "Help me put this up." He smiled, Howard taking the light from him and standing on the bed. When they were all set up, they had yellow lights, pink lights, red lights and purple lights along with a disco ball; they began to decorate the room. Howard was unsure as to how they had managed to acquire so many lights but Vince did know a club director. Naboo was watching the window for the board of Shaman who were bringing a fold-away DJ booth and albums to play. "Naboo, me and Howard are going to sneak into the kitchen and cook up some food okay?" Naboo silently nodded and the two boys sauntered out of the room.

"Right so what are we making?" Howard asked and pulled out an old cookbook.

"Nothing you'll find in there. Check this out." Vince pulled a book from his bag which was covered in glitter and glowing stars. "Electro-food!" Vince smiled and began to gather ingredients. "Right, electric pancakes first." The two were crimping the pancake crimp almost silently so they could be unnoticed. Howard was sieving flower when Vince flicked some at him and he flicked some back. By the end of the cooking lesson, they were both drenched head-toe with flower so they put the ingredients back, cleaned up and hauled the food away without being noticed. Their room was filled with strange people, one who was a mere head with strange looking things coming from it. Another was a rather dark looking man with a black feathered cloak and a matching hat who was called Saboo. They were the DJ's and the rest just guests. The room looked like a VIP club and Vince smiled and nodded before fixing up a buffet table and smiling.

"Send 'em in." He smiled and the door opened, in flooded the other kids. Vince was sneaking some vodka into the bowl whilst Howard sat in the corner giving himself a Chinese burn. He really liked Vince, he had become something of a best friend but he had gotten him into nothing but trouble since he had arrived. "Alright Howard, what are you doing?" Vince took hold of Howard's hand and eased it away from his wrist. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah." Howard sighed and looked up at the ceiling, refusing to meet Vince's confused and worried eyes.

**TBC **

**A/N: **Did you like it? I hope you did and cheers for all the reviews. :D


	7. Deceitful Skies

**DISCLAIMER: ****I own no rights to the Mighty Boosh or the characters. I basically own nothing in this story. XD **

**A/N: ****Hi guys, thanks for reading and thanks for all the reviews so far guys, means a lot. :D **

**SUMMARY: ****Vince is the new boy at a boarding school in Leeds but what happens when he makes it his policy to wreak havoc and meets a boy called Howard? **

**TITLE: ****The Boarding School**

**o0o0o0o0o0o0o**

**The Boarding School**

**Chapter 7- Deceitful Skies**

"H'ward, if something's wrong then you can tell me ya know." Vince smiled his amazing smile and Howard smiled back, his eyes still glued on the ceiling. "I mean it." Vince's reassuring grin also made Howard smile. Vince reached Howard's hand and gave it a comforting squeeze.

"I know. Thanks Vince." Howard's voice was emotionless and dripped with negative sentiment. Soon Vince had gone with Tony, a bright pink octopus like shaman, to lure Bob to the party and Howard was sat miserably in the corner. Vince had everything. Great hair, looks, friends, popularity, confidence and what did he have? A slightly asymmetrical moustache? When Vince and Tony returned, Bob walked in and screamed.

"Holy shi… nut sauce!" Bob screeched as the music ceased and the other kids stopped dancing. "Get out, all of you and I want the person responsible for this NOW!" Vince smiled and walked forwards, winking at Howard slyly as he did.

"It was all me Mr Fossil, just me. Naboo and Howard had nothing to do with it they tried to stop me." Bob nodded and sighed.

"Well Vincey-bear I can't say I'm not disappointed, I'm gonna let you off this time seen as you cut my hair for me but don't let it happen again yeah? Now clear out and you tidy this mess up Moon." Howard stood up from the corner he had spent four hours in and nodded emotionlessly.

"Yes Mr Fossil." Bob disappeared into hallway. "It's okay Vince; you didn't have to take the wrap." Howard again was impassively spoken and that made Vince worry.

"You turnip Howard, I took the blame because I knew none of us would get into trouble then. He likes me; you'd get crumbled like Rivita." Howard remained speechless and continued to sweep up the empty cups and litter. "Howard? Are you okay? You seem a little weird. Howard?" Vince placed his hand on Howard's and squeezed it reassuringly. "What's wrong?" Howard refrained from eye contact and yanked his hand away.

"Don't touch me." He replied as Vince nodded and picked up a dustpan and brush. "Look Vince, I'm sorry but ever since I became friends with you I've gotten into nothing but trouble." Vince dropped the brush and sighed. "I mean no offence and I'm not saying that we shouldn't be friends because we should but…" Howard's words laced with guilt and he looked deep into those stunning blue eyes. "Vince?"

"Huh? Oh, I'm fine really I'm just…" Vince draped his blazer over his shoulders and headed out of the door, ignoring the fact he was mixing a red top with a green jacket. He headed out into the cold night and sat down on a hill in the gardens out back, knees pulled up to his chest and sighed. "He'll just never understand." Vince whispered brokenly into the nothingness. Soon, a blacked out figure appeared in front of the gates and as it approached, the moustache and brown smoke became more and more evident.

"Mind if I join you?" He asked as Vince shrugged. "Well I am." He sat down next to the slim frame of Vince Noir and fell backwards onto his back. Pushing himself up, his arms and legs flailed around until he was sitting upright again.

"You are a melon Howard." Vince giggled and wiped away a few wandering tears which had somehow dripped onto his cheek.

"I have been told that." Howard chuckled back. Wait, Howard chuckling? Vince smiled, Howard had a nice smile he only wished he used it more. "Vince, I didn't mean it like that. I was being selfish, I shouldn't have said it." Vince shook his head.

"Nah, you're entitled to your opinion it was just me being an over emo again." Vince again wiped the tears away but with a cloth Howard gave him. Looking up, Vince smiled. It was a nice night, stars scattered across the sky and twinkling like fireflies. Howard followed his gaze and smiled too. The sky was that sort of bark blue before it fades into black. A navy blue and it made Vince's eyes twinkle like never before. Before he could stop himself, Vince's hand slipped from the grassy ground and he rolled a few inches down the hill until Howard's hand was clasped around his wrist.

"Careful there little man, could've been a nasty fall." Howard looked over at the puddle formed at the bottom of the hill and smiled.

"Yeah." Vince wistfully replied and followed Howard carefully down the verdant hill, overlooking the deceitful sky.

**A/N: Sorry this chapter is a little angsty but I suppose it makes it more realistic. The next one wont be I don't think though. Thanks for all the reviews guys. :D**


	8. Five words sworn to secrecy

**DISCLAIMER: ****I own no rights to the Mighty Boosh or the characters. I basically own nothing in this story. XD **

**A/N: ****Hi guys, thanks for reading and thanks for all the reviews so far guys, means a lot. :D **

**SUMMARY: ****Vince is the new boy at a boarding school in Leeds but what happens when he makes it his policy to wreak havoc and meets a boy called Howard? **

**TITLE: ****The Boarding School**

**o0o0o0o0o0o0o**

**The Boarding School**

**Chapter 8- Five words sworn to secrecy **

Once they were inside, Vince flopped onto his bed. Naboo had the Shaman crew do some sort of hoodoo on the room so it was tidied almost instantly.

"Howard, ya know tomorrow yeah?" Howard wordlessly nodded and stared at him from his bed. "Can we please go to the market? We could sneak out and no one would know until we get back and that would only be Naboo." Howard looked over at the wall and shrugged. Naboo was softly snoring in his bed and Vince and Howard couldn't help but smile.

"Well I suppose we could do with some fresh air." Howard sighed when he saw Vince give him to puppy dog look. He tried to glance at the floor but it was too late, he was already held in a stare of pure vulnerability.

"Oh yes! Genius! Night Howard." Vince smiled and closed his eyes before he began to drift into the world of imaginings.

"Night Vince." Howard said, an affectionate smile creeping onto his lips. Leaning back into the covers, Howard sighed happily and also drifted away into the world where anything could happen, anything he wanted to happen. The next morning, Howard began his routine. He woke up, brushed his teeth, got dressed (seen as it was a weekend, they could wear what they wanted) and listened to some morning jazz. Vince woke up to hear some sort of bebop and instantly rushed to the bathroom. Soon, Howard's ears were inhabited by the sound of his best friend throwing up last night's dinner. He walked in and sighed before kneeling down next to him and holding his jet black hair back.

"Vince, are you alright?" Howard's words held furtive hints of worry and care for his friend.

"No, it's the jazz. I'm allergic!" He wheezed and Howard looked away and patted his back.

"I'll go and turn it off." Howard smiled and left his sick friend to finish up. Skidding out of the bathroom, Howard fell over his brown suitcase, stood up and ran over to the record player to turn off his record. Vince soon appeared after brushing his teeth. His hair had just been brushed and had a slight curl to it and his eyes were at their natural state.

"Oh I feel horrible. I'd better go and get ready, straighten my hair." He sighed before Howard wrapped his hand around Vince's wrist and smiled.

"I think you look fine as you are." Howard smiled and let go of his wrist. Vince turned away to hide the cherry hints which were becoming clear on his cheeks. Looking back at Howard, he smiled and nodded.

"You think so?" Howard wordlessly nodded and chuckled at the proud look on Vince's face. Naboo woke up and smiled.

"What's up with you two?" Naboo asked as gleeful chuckles escaped from the two teens.

"Nothing, I'm gonna go get changed." Vince smiled happily before skipping off to his room. Howard bust into uncontrollable laughter when Naboo screamed and walked out of the bathroom with whipped cream on his face.

"Who did this? It was you two weren't it? You're in for it!" Naboo shouted and chased a scared Howard around the room before Vince opened the door to the closet where they kept their clothes to be confronted by an angry shaman. "Vince, explain."

"Oh yeah, Howard and I got bored so we put cream in your hand and tickled your nose and then ya know ya sneezed and… yeah." After a game of shaman and schoolboy (cat and mouse to us) Naboo gave up and went to shower. Vince had applied a tiny amount of eyeliner and lip-gloss, so little that it was barely noticeable.

"Are you ready?" Howard asked and grabbed his coat." Vince nodded and followed him out of the room and onto the street. "Right, where d'ya wanna go?" Howard asked and followed Vince into a hairdresser.

"Alright, I was hoping if you could do maybe a backcomb structure with framing, root-boost and a fringe?" The guy smiled and placed a cover over his chest.

"Maybe something a little different yeah?" He smiled and cut his hair a little shorter, dying it light brown and adding in some copper, red and blonde streaks. "Well?"

"Wow, this is amazing I… wow. Thanks mate. How much?" The man shook his head and let them off for free. "Check me out Howard it's unbelievable." Vince's amazement about his hair was so overbearing that he couldn't watch where he was going and walked right out into the road. A car was zooming down the road and Howard wrapped his arms around Vince's waist and pulled him back onto the pavement. "That's second time you saved me." Vince smiled and Howard smiled along side him.

"Yeah, imagine that." Howard sighed. He would always be there for him. 'I'll be there for you', five words which would always be sworn to secrecy.

"Let's go 'ome." Vince smiled, tangling his fingers in with Howards.

**A/N: **There ya go. Hope you enjoyed it and uh updates soon. :D Thanks for reading and please review. :D


	9. My Reason

**DISCLAIMER: ****I own no rights to the Mighty Boosh or the characters. I basically own nothing in this story. XD **

**A/N: ****Hi guys, thanks for reading and thanks for all the reviews so far guys, means a lot. :D **

**SUMMARY: ****Vince is the new boy at a boarding school in Leeds but what happens when he makes it his policy to wreak havoc and meets a boy called Howard? **

**TITLE: ****The Boarding School**

**o0o0o0o0o0o0o**

**The Boarding School**

**Chapter 9- My Reason **

Howard awoke in the middle of the night. He had a nightmare that 'Jazz4U inc.' shut down and woke up having a mild panic attack. He looked over at Naboo (or the ball curled up in the blankets) and chuckled at the angular points coming from the covers near his feet which he identified as his shoes. He did wonder if he would ever take them off. He wore them everywhere (though he wasn't sure about the shower seen as he's never looked).

He set his gaze upon Vince and smiled affectionately. He was fourteen, he had one relationship which ended in a mugging of his trumpet and fleeing of the school, He was unsure of how many relationships Vince had been through. It was obviously more than him as he was more confident around people and he had a sort of childish feel which made Howard feel… different. Good different, like when you win a jazz competition which he was also clueless as what the feeling was like. He had entered a few and had a good chance of wining one but he was criticised by another boy so knocked him out with his trumpet and got kicked out. His parents never really forgave him; it was his half brother Philip. Philip was older than him and worked in Dixons on the tills, he made a good living, swore that he would never keep in touch with Howard after the competition and they left it at that. Howard wasn't fazed, he never really liked Philip. He preferred the cat on Naboo's picture which incidentally was called Philip.

It was silent in the room apart from the soft snoring which occasionally burst through the silence. Howard followed the sounds. Being a musician, he had excellent hearing and traced it back to Vince. Sliding out of bed, Howard decided to wander around the corridors. It was a coldish night and all he was wearing was some pyjama bottoms with trumpets on and a plain t-shirt. Apart from that his arms were completely exposed to the biting cold. The corridors were dark seen as it was after curfew but Howard didn't mind. He had become a little more wayward since he had met Vince. He had changed his whole life. Now Howard couldn't imagine his life without him.

Vince began to stir and soon his blue eyes popped open and he bolted upright.

"That was terrible. Numan? A bald patch? Yeah right." Vince chuckled and looked over at Howard's bed. It was empty. "Howard?" Vince whispered quietly so as not to wake the shaman who was soundly sleeping. "Howard?" Deciding to go and find Howard was better than sitting about listening to Naboo snoring rather loudly. "Howard? Howard? C'mon Howard this 'aint funny." Vince was now shouting down the corridors and he heard his voice echo through the atmosphere. Soon a hand was placed on his shoulder and he turned around.

"Vince wait!" Howard shouted and grabbed Vince's formed fist. "It's me."

"Howard. "Where did you go? I looked everywhere." Howard nodded and looked out one of the floor length windows.

"I went for walk that's all. Oh and I've been meaning to ask you, are you just causing havoc so you'll get kicked out?" Howard's voice held tones of seriousness but hidden was hurt and worry.

"Howard, there's a reason I'm staying here. If I 'ad my way I'd be out of 'ere before you can say 'Mick Jagger' but it's just you. You're keeping me here because I want to leave but I can't. You and Naboo, you're the only real friends I have and I can't lose you." Howard's eyes widened to almost normal size and had confusion twined with them.

"What?" He asked in a high pitched, shocked voice.

"You, you're my reason." Vince sighed. Howard just stood in complete silence before turning and walking away. "Howard? Howard what's up?" Vince asked and traipsed after his emotional friend.

**A/N: **Ok so I know this chapter was rubbish. Was it rubbish? Yeah it was. Please review even though and I'll try and improve. Oh and if you're wondering, I put the *_*'s on so it was easier to read seen as there wasn't much speech.


	10. Protection against Dior

**DISCLAIMER: ****I own no rights to the Mighty Boosh or the characters. I basically own nothing in this story. XD **

**A/N: ****Hi guys, thanks for reading and thanks for all the reviews so far guys, means a lot. :D **

**SUMMARY: ****Vince is the new boy at a boarding school in Leeds but what happens when he makes it his policy to wreak havoc and meets a boy called Howard? **

**TITLE: ****The Boarding School**

**o0o0o0o0o0o0o**

**The Boarding School**

**Chapter 10- Protection against Dior **

"Howard!" Vince screamed and span his friend around. Howard's eyes were blocked by the rushing tears which seemed to be making tracks down his cheeks. Wiping them away, Vince smiled softly. "Tears so do not suit you." Vince's sympathetic and apologetic grin made Howard chuckle. "What's up?"

"Well I just… I don't want to be the reason you stay here. If you're miserable then go Vince. Go where you wanna go, be who you wanna be because you're still young! You have your whole life ahead of you and I don't want to be the boy who's holding you back." Howard's words were laced with hurt. Each and every one had its own individual coating of hurt and of truth.

"Howard, you aren't holding me back. You're the reason I'm staying here… but that's a good thing." Vince calmly said, his hand resting on Howard's cheek.

"Really? is it a good thing?" Vince remained silent and dropped his gaze to the floor; Howard nodded and walked back to their room. Vince slumped down on the floor and sighed. He had it all and then he messed it up by saying that. He wished he hadn't. He wished he could've just left things how they were… perfect. To be honest, that wasn't the only reason he was staying. He was staying to get away from it all. Dragging his body from the floor, a dejected boy ambled down the meandering corridors and to the ICT room, writing an e-mail which read-

_**Alright Leroy, **_

_**This is hell! I have to get out of here now. I just tried to be deep and meaningful and it didn't half back fire. There's this boy called Howard who's in my year and I'm sharing a room with him right, I made really good friends with him and he saved my life twice but now I just feel that something's wrong. He seems all emotional and weird. I'm worried! I want to help him but I dunno how… you know I'm not exactly an academic. There's this head teacher called Bob Fossil, he's an absolute nutbox. He has panic attacks at Gary Numan… imagine that. His neck goes all big. Anyways reply soon yeah? This is well dry! Maybe soon I'll get out of this hell house and back to Dalston. Until then, stay punk… one of us to. **_

_**^_^Vince^_^ **_

_**xx**_

There was a knock on the door so Vince logged off and made a run for it back to his room. When arrived back, Howard was curled up on his bed.

"Howard? Are you alright?" Vince sat down next to him and sighed when he saw the wet sparkle in his eyes. Something was stabbing at his heart but he couldn't think what. "Howard look, I didn't mean it like that yeah?" Howard sat up and whipped the tears away, smiling forcedly.

"I wouldn't cry at this. I feel weird. I don't know it's just…" Howard yelped in pain and fell back on his back, his eyes slipping closed. Vince stood up, anger and pure fury in his eyes. There was one boy who was capable of making him feel this rubbish and that was…

"Listen here Lance if you don't open this door I'll set Naboo on you." Lance had seen Naboo beat up a boy with his turban for nicking his _Fleetwood Mac _CD so the door opened instantly.

"Oh alright Vince yeah, I was just going over some lyrics and…" Vince was never this violent but something was wrong with Howard and as a best friend, he wasn't sitting around and watching with a little bucket of popcorn. Vince pushed Lance against the wall and growled angrily. "What's wrong with you? You're a freak!"

"Listen here Lance Dior, I don't know what you did but if what you did is irreversible then I swear that I will put you in the ground myself!" He spat the words out and Vince smirked evilly.

"Oh you mean my little prank on Howard? Yeah I messed with his mind. I may have gone through Naboo's stuff when you were out and come across it." One last shove against the wall was enough to reinforce Vince's point.

"Fix it!" Vince was now begging and Lance was loving every minute of his vulnerability.

"Make me." Vince gave up on the tough act and fell onto the bed.

"Okay then fine here. I have always been branded the freak. I was never popular, I was never a big guy I was always the girly boy who's too individual for anyone to handle. I was always the loner but for once I had friends. I had someone who liked me for who I was and that felt so good that I cannot describe it. So FYI- if you don't turn him back then I will be setting one heck of an angry shaman on you!" Lance jumped back and nodded.

"Alright, alright where is he?" Vince smirked and dragged him to their room where Lance put some white powder in some water and Vince gave it to Howard. "There am I free to go?"

"Please do go!" Vince said in a voice dripping with sarcasm. "Howard?"

"Mmm?" Howard mumbled. Vince smiled warmly and pulled him into his arms. "Don't touch me!"

"Get lost! I just held Lance Dior to a wall for you; you can bloody-well enjoy this!" Howard smirked and wrapped an arm around Vince's waist. "Never scare me again like that okay?" He felt like Howard's dad and that feeling of responsibility made him feel a little more mature. He was fourteen, he had been living life like a rollercoaster and he never stopped to look at the responsibilities he could have… he liked it.

"Alright… dad." Howard chuckled, pulling away. "D'ya fancy a walk?" Vince nodded, he needed to get some air so he tangled his fingers in with the moustachioed boy (for a fourteen year old, Howard had quite a bug moustache… well a cappuccino stain) and smiled. Little did they know that lurking in the dark corners of Leeds Acadiverse was one jealous, black hearted boy. A boy with a plan so sinister that it could be enough to destroy all they have.

**A/N: Well? I know it's angst but that makes it more realistic so the next chappie will be happy, I promise! I will make it funny! :D For now please review. **


	11. Dior's Disasters

**DISCLAIMER: ****I own no rights to the Mighty Boosh or the characters. I basically own nothing in this story. XD **

**A/N: ****Hi guys, thanks for reading and thanks for all the reviews so far guys, means a lot. :D **

**SUMMARY: ****Vince is the new boy at a boarding school in Leeds but what happens when he makes it his policy to wreak havoc and meets a boy called Howard? **

**TITLE: ****The Boarding School**

**o0o0o0o0o0o0o**

**The Boarding School**

**Chapter 11- Dior's Disaster **

When they reached outside, Vince began to swing their arms and smiled childishly.

"So Howard, why are you here then?" Vince asked and watched hesitation grow.

"Well… I… I hit a boy over the head with my trumpet because he was bullying me." Vince burst into fits of laughter and almost fell head over heels when they hit a hill. "Careful."

"Sorry, I can be a bit ditzy sometimes." Vince openly admitted and placed a foot on the opening to the hill. "I was sent here because my grades were slipping. I was predicted a C." Howard nodded, implying he was listening. "And I got a U but that wasn't my fault… it was Leroy." Howard couldn't help but chuckle at the defensiveness in Vince's voice.

"Wow… U? That's… wow." Vince nodded and tightened his grip on Howard's hand when he saw Lance. "Lance." Howard said in a breathy tone. "Just ignore him Vince." Vince scoffed at Howard's remark.

"I intend on doing."

"So this U...?" Vince shrugged off Howard's question and sat down in the place he had done two nights ago. He liked it there; it was a nice view and a comfy hill.

"Forget it. I had the knowledge but just… couldn't be bothered. It's no big deal." Vince said calmly and let go of Howard's hand to lean back onto the grassy floor. "He's gone." Vince said in a confused and questioning tone.

"Where?"

"Dunno… if I did but I be so confused?" Howard nodded and stood up to get a better view, Lance pushing him over before running away to hide in a bush. "Howard?" Vince looked down and hovered over him, a foolish grin spread across his face.

"Think it's funny do you?" Howard childishly linked an ankle with Vince's and pushed forwards so he was tripped up and fell backwards, landing half on Howard, half on the floor. "Ha! Bitch." Howard smirked and tried to sit up.

"Who pushed you anyways?" Vince scanned the area as he spoke and stood up, quickly brushing off his drainpipes.

"Guess."

"Oh no, not that Lance kid… what a loser. Anyway are you alright?" Vince asked and helped up Howard who stared at their hands. "Oh sorry, don't touch me I know." Howard shook his head but remained wordless.

"Come on, let's go back inside." Howard smiled and wrapped an arm around Vince's shoulders. Pushing opened the door, Howard smiled. Soon however, he began to shake a bit and smiled hesitantly.

"Are you okay Howard?" Vince asked.

"Fine!" When they got back, Howard got changed and frowned. "Lance!" He whispered and picked up his pants which were dotted with itching powder. Throwing them into the washing basket, he clambered into his bed and snuggled into the covers. Soon he found himself sat up having a conversation with Naboo about ninjas whilst Vince slowly snored in the background.

"Naboo, I have something to tell you but you have to promise not to tell Vince, it'll freak him right out!" Naboo nodded and fixed his 'sleeping turban' straight on his head.

"What?"

"Well I…" Howard hesitated, was he going to say the secret he knew Lance could use against him if he found out?

**A/N: **Oooh! Hope you likey and I shall update soonly. Cheers for all the reviews! XD


	12. These things I'll never say

**DISCLAIMER: ****I own no rights to the Mighty Boosh or the characters. I basically own nothing in this story. XD **

**A/N: ****Hi guys, thanks for reading and thanks for all the reviews so far guys, means a lot. :D **

**SUMMARY: ****Vince is the new boy at a boarding school in Leeds but what happens when he makes it his policy to wreak havoc and meets a boy called Howard? **

**TITLE: ****The Boarding School**

**o0o0o0o0o0o0o**

**The Boarding School**

**Chapter 12- These things I'll never say **

"I think I've fallen for someone." Naboo nodded and pondered the thought.

"Well was your shoe lace tied?" Naboo asked in a confused and sleepy voice, a lock of hair falling into his chocolate eyes. "If not then no wonder you fell… hazardous." Howard's eyes also because confused and he shuffled to the end of the bed.

"No Naboo… I don't mean I _fell _for someone I mean I fell for them as in I think I have a bit of a crush on them." Naboo smiled.

"Ah, I see. But just out of interest was your shoe tied?" Naboo also shuffled to the end of his bed and leant forward in wonder and awe.

"Does it matter?" Howard asked in an ever so serious voice. Naboo frowned dejectedly and shrugged.

"S'pose not, so who is it?" Howard shook his head. "Oh come on… I'll tell you who I fancy." Howard looked at Naboo through eyes which conveyed everything without the use of words. "Alright, she was called Louisa… it was in year three. I let her borrow my crayons and she kissed my cheek in thanks…"

"But?"

"She didn't give me my crayons back and I got a bit angry… they cost me four Euros and it's the credit crunch! I can't just go distributing crayons willy-nilly. I saved up for those! I almost got sent to the Crunch… that isn't pretty trust me." Naboo's voice held nothing but pure seriousness and his eyes transmitted the same feelings.

"Aha and you still fancy her?" Howard found this hard to believe as he seemed so angry about the crayon disaster. Naboo nodded wistfully, distantly yet snapped out of his loved up trance to stare at Howard with a raised eyebrow. "Well she's not really a she… she is a he." Naboo nodded understandingly… he seemed so calm. "He's called Vince."

"Vince? Okay carry on." Naboo felt like a father or an older brother and couldn't help but love every second of feeling an agony aunt.

"And he's amazing, funny… no, hilarious without meaning to be… witty that's it. And he's the most beautiful specimen on the planet. Sometimes I don't think he knows how beautiful he is but he is drop dead gorgeous. His hair is so carefully done and he always makes an effort. He's not afraid to stand up for himself, he's not afraid to be individual. He doesn't care what others think of him… he just liked being unique, he likes being… him I suppose. He doesn't want to be anything else but him and everyone else can either like it or lump it. I look up to him, admire him, heck I love him." Howard paused for a second and smiled.

"So he's pretty cool then?" Naboo finally broke the silence with a confused tone.

"More than cool." Howard again seemed to be in distant thought or some sort of dreamland.

"Why don't you talk to him then?" Naboo had already figured it out; he figured it out before Howard did.

"Because I'm too scared, it's just a crush and he doesn't feel the same. As far as I'm concerned it'll be a secret forever. He'll never know." Naboo transferred his body weight to Howard's bed and placed a comforting hand on Howard's shoulder.

"Scared of what?" Naboo asked in a genuinely interested voice. He may not get on like a house on fire with Howard but he did care and if he was feeling shit then he wanted to help.

"Rejection, I've always been rejected no matter how many times I ask someone out… they always seem to say no." Naboo squeezed Howard's shoulder and smiled.

"I'm sure Vince would say yes. It's obvious in the way he looks at you and the way he talks to you and how he holds your hand that he likes you. There's something definitely there." Howard nodded.

"Maybe I will ask him." Naboo nodded along side him and hopped back into his own bed. "Thanks Naboo."

"Don't mention it but in case it goes wrong… here. It's a picture of two kittens, the one on the left's Philip. You can have it free seen as you're feeling so bad." Howard thanked the Shaman and looked over at Vince. His chest rising and falling as he slept, dreams of rainbows and unicorns swirling in his perfect imagination, Vince told Howard he had seen a unicorn but Howard was convinced by the way he had explained it that it was a horse with a cornetto on its head. It was true. Vince was beautiful with the moonlight making patterns on his perfect cheeks and his blue eyes slipped closed but he didn't know it. He made such an effort in a morning but he looked fine when he woke with his hair skew-whiff and sticking up. If he dare say it, Howard thought he looked cute like that.

"Night Naboo and by the way, for the record my shoe lace was tied." Naboo chuckled slightly and looked over at the jazzy freak.

"Good, I should think so. Good night Howard."

**A/N: Another chapter. Aww, a nice Naboo and Howard moment there but a family moment obviously! Will Lance pull Howard and Vince apart? Will update soon and thanks for all the amazing reviews. It's nice to know you like it and I really do appreciate it. Bye for now. **

**~Mrs O.G **

**(Natalie) xx **


	13. Penguins and Satsuma's

**DISCLAIMER: ****I own no rights to the Mighty Boosh or the characters. I basically own nothing in this story. XD **

**A/N: ****Hi guys, thanks for reading and thanks for all the reviews so far guys, means a lot. :D **

**SUMMARY: ****Vince is the new boy at a boarding school in Leeds but what happens when he makes it his policy to wreak havoc and meets a boy called Howard? **

**TITLE: ****The Boarding School**

**o0o0o0o0o0o0o**

**The Boarding School**

**Chapter 13- Penguins and Satsuma's**

The next morning, Vince was scurrying about energetically whilst Naboo tied the laces of his perfectly curled boots.

"Morning." Vince smiled at Howard, pausing for a second to scan the cabinet next to Howard's bed.

"Morning, what are you looking for?" Howard asked, sitting up and rubbing his head lightly.

"My root booster! It's gone and I dunno where." Howard scrutinized Vince's hair and smiled. "What? Why are you so happy?"

"You look fine as you are." Vince blushed slightly and went to get changed. Half an hour later they were in lessons and Howard was writing the chemical equation for photosynthesis whilst Vince drew penguins across the border of his page. The pen engraved the paper as he drew steady, straight lines curved at the bottom for the penguin's stomach. It was quite a good drawing and he had switched off at the beginning of the lesson. Turning the page, Howard also wrote down the biomass of a tulip and drew one in pencil and colour unlike Vince's pen scrawled ones. Vince drew a penguin with a moustache and a fishing hat holding a trumpet alongside one with a cool hair do, a cowboy hat and cowboy boots. The one with boots on had a strange face on its stomach. It was a simply line drawing but held a lot of detail within the fine pen strokes.

"Howard look, that one's you and this is me. You've got a trumpet." Howard squinted and smiled.

"Nice… what's on your stomach?" Howard asked and pointed to the face on the penguin's stomach.

"Oh that's the Boosh symbol. I made up a band consisting of… well me and called it the Mighty Boosh. That's the symbol." Vince smiled innocently and turned the page back. "That's Naboo… a Penoo!" Vince grinned inanely and looked up at Bob Fossil who had a less than impressed look on his face. "Yeah, yeah I'm going." Vince sighed and smiled at Howard. "See ya later." Vince ambled to Fossil's office.

"Making a habit of this Mr Noir?" Fossil cockily said as he sat down.

"Umm… I'm trying not to but we just keep getting pulled back together." Vince sighed and sat down; there were better places to be." Fossil circled him and tutted.

"How would you describe yourself? Describe yourself in two words." Vince smirked cheekily.

"Electro bitch." Vince giggled and fluffed his hair. "Oh or in four words, King of the Mod's." Fossil rolled his eyes and bent down.

"How's about this word… expelled!" Vince gasped and looked at him with pleading eyes.

"Fossil come on, we're on the same wave length here… give me another chance please! I can change… I think. I look at this as a learning experience." Vince innocently smiled.

"Yeah? Go eat a nut sandwich electro bitch and get out my office!" Vince gulped and ran back to his lesson.

"Howard, can I borrow you a second?" Howard nodded and followed Vince outside.

"What is it?" Vince checked both ways.

"I think I might have been expelled for drawing penguins." Howard covered his mouth to hide the gaping hole which was his mouth.

"What? You can't go, you're my only friend." Vince blinked away some tears and smiled.

"I know. I don't want to go." Howard pulled Vince into his arms and smiled, rubbing circles onto the smaller man's back.

"Shh, it's alright little man, we're gonna keep you here." Howard was actually relieved to see the softer side of Vince… it showed he was still human.

"Do you mean that Howard?" Howard nodded and pulled Vince back into his chest. 

"You know I do. Just out of interest, why were you drawing penguins?" Vince looked up, a naïve glisten in his eyes.

"Umm well I was wondering what we'd look like if we were penguins so I drew us as them." Howard playfully threw a Satsuma from his pocket at Vince's head and smiled when he pulled out about ten. "The Satsuma war is on!" Passing Howard five Satsuma's, Vince threw the first and Howard returned the blow, hitting Vince square on the nose.

"Ha, take that!" Vince threw one back and soon they were lying on the grass surrounded by squashed oranges and covered in the juices of ten citrus fruits. "Well that was fun." Howard chuckled and Vince reached for his hand.

"Yeah, it was… Howard I have something to say before I find out if I am expelled." Howard's chocolate eyes linked with his blue ones, affection and care tangled with every single glance. "Well I think that I might like you… ya know, _like _you." Howard smiled and pulled himself closer to Vince.

"That makes two of us… wait… I mean I _like _you not that I _like _me." The confusion in his voice couldn't stop Vince bursting out into laughter.

"Ha-ha, you're a nutter Howard but I like it." Vince curled up beside Howard in a ball and wrapped an arm around his cloth clad waist. Both their blazers were beneath them so Howard picked up his to wrap around Vince who had goosebumps. Howard ran a hand through Vince's soft hair and contentedly sighed. They lay there for a while, ignoring their lessons and enjoying the time they had together held in one another's tender embrace. Lance walked past and scoffed, pulling up Harold Boom beside him… his trusty, stupid, mindless sidekick who did not come at people but apply flimsy moves that had no impact whatsoever. A plan had formed in his head and tomorrow, he would pull them apart once and for all. Except this time… there was no way it could possibly fail.

o0o

**A/N: Well another chapter sooner than I thought. Not sure when it's gonna end but it's not yet you'll be glad to know… will you be glad? I hope so. Anyways, please review and thank you for reading this chapter. **


	14. Reduce and Rebuild

**DISCLAIMER: ****I own no rights to the Mighty Boosh or the characters. I basically own nothing in this story. XD **

**A/N: ****Hi guys, thanks for reading and thanks for all the reviews so far guys, means a lot. :D **

**SUMMARY: ****Vince is the new boy at a boarding school in Leeds but what happens when he makes it his policy to wreak havoc and meets a boy called Howard? **

**TITLE: ****The Boarding School**

**o0o0o0o0o0o0o**

**The Boarding School**

**Chapter 14- Reduced and Rebuilt **

The next day, Vince woke up when Howard threw a file at his head and narrowly missed but the impact was heard from the cushion beside him which had in fact taken the worst of the blow.

"What's up with you?" Vince asked and manoeuvred himself to a sitting position, his hair like a giant hedgehog on his head.

"Why don't you try justifying this?" Howard threw a letter at his head and sighed in disbelief. "Vince, why the hell did you write that? I thought we were friends." The taller boy snatched the letter from him and began to read aloud so the other boy could hear. Naboo was sat on his bed, patiently waiting with anticipation.

"_Dear Leroy, this is hell! I have to get out of here now. There's this boy called Howard in my year and I'm sharing a room with him right, he's well dry." Howard began to tell the story. "He's an idiot and so boring I consider slitting my wrists when I'm around him. He's got this insane idea I like him but he's wrong. I'm just using him so I don't look like a loner and then maybe I can get out of this hell hole earlier by making him help me get expelled. He's all emotional and weird… he freaks me out. Also there's a boy called Naboo who wears a turban. He's just as weird… he's the shortest, strangest loser I've ever met in my entire life. None of them like Numan and if I don't get out of here I think my head'll explode. Reply soon yeah? Until then, stay punk… one of us has to. _

_Vince _

_xx" _Howard was almost in tears as he read. Sure, Vince had written some of that like how it was hell but for completely different reasons. He would never call them losers… especially not Howard. He looked up at his chocolate eyes which had pain and hurt intertwined in each and every solitary gaze and dropped his stare to the floor again. If only Naboo had a potion to erase time… he'd use them all. Vince looked up with guilt gleaming in his eyes.

"Howard, it's not what you… I didn't write that!" Howard rolled his eyes.

"So you're just using us?" The smaller man asked and walked to the doorway. "My height is not my fault! It's genetic!" Naboo screamed and slammed the door shut.

"Well here's something for you Vince, you're on your own from now." Vince clung to Howard's arm for dear life and even endured being dragged along the floor.

"Howard please you have to believe me! I didn't write it I didn't!" The door slammed again and there he lay, curled up in a vulnerable ball of nothingness. Vince sat up, tears slowly making tracks of eyeliner and mascara down his paler than usual cheeks. He was almost white, and by white, I mean white. He looked as though he'd been but in the washing machine with half a box of Daz Crystal White. There had to be someone behind it. He thought Lance but then he remembered… Lance is way too dumb to try that one he'd openly admitted that he couldn't work a computer but Harold… he was a genius when it came to things like that.

"Oi, you little ballbag what did you do?" Vince screamed at Harold, his eyes blazing with pure fury and vengeance.

"I didn't do anything!" Harold's voice was defenceless but Vince hated it when people underestimated his single brain celled intelligence. Pushing him with more force against the locker, Vince stared into his eyes and raised an eyebrow. Just as he was about to throw him against the locker a final time, Howard walked by and pulled the angry little man away from a rather scared boy.

"Vince! You're unstable." Howard shouted and pushed Vince away from him. "You're a lying, evil, violent, horrible tart and I don't care if I never see you again! The sooner my parents come to pick me up, the sooner I get away from you!" Howard spat the words and felt hurt run through him like wildfire. Vince was everything he had dreamed off, everything he wanted and yet he meant so little to him? Howard couldn't place why he was so meaningless to him after all they had said and done together. Memories that no one could ever take away from them except jealousy and vanity which had somehow pulled them apart, Vince was all Howard needed to get through life but if he felt like he was a jazz obsessed, unfashionable, geeky looser he was unsure he could ever trust Vince again.

Vince had a way of making thing better when they were at the worst possible place to be. He said the right things at the right times an all but Howard was waiting on those three words he wanted to hear so badly that he was tearing himself apart to hear them.

"Tell him! Tell him what you did!" Vince screamed at the top his voice, his words breaking in the middle.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Harold replied, a cocky and obnoxious grin on his face.

"You bitch! What the fuck are you doing?" Vince's voice was at breaking point… he was at breaking point. Everyone was staring at him. Maybe because they were all A grade point averagers and he was swearing his face off. "You know what? Believe what you want but I know what I said and it was not that." With that he ran away to sit on a bench in the freezing winter air outside. After about an hour, Howard joined him and sighed.

"Vince, what was all that about?" His voice was soft, calm and… affectionate.

"I'm telling the truth Howard. Are you really going to believe that jazzy tit over me?" Howard remained unspoken, his glance glued to a pointless spot on the floor. Vince tipped up Howard's head and raised an eyebrow. "Well?"

"No. I was being stupid and I'm sorry. I never meant it but you can understand why I'd feel so upset. You're everything I've ever wanted and for you to backstab me would be horrible." Vince nodded; he knew what it felt like to be backstabbed.

"I know I want to show I'm sorry for all I said to you in there but you have to admit… Harold is a bit of a tit." Vince smiled and wrapped an arm around Howard's waist, pulling him closer to him until they were inches away and he could feel Howard's spearmint breath on his face. Vince crunched their lips together and soon reluctantly pulled away to draw breath. Grinning against Howard's lips, he sighed and rested his head on Howard's chest.

"Now we need revenge on these two impersonators. This is a travesty sir!" Howard giggled along with Vince and broke into manic laughter when Vince fell off the bench. "Are you okay little man?" Vince raised a hand and made an 'O' shape with his fingers like Italian chefs do. "Good." Howard chuckled and soon joined Vince on the floor when he realised last minute he was sat too close to the edge.

"Woops." Vince smiled and sat up, making sure his phone, iPod, hair and Howard were okay. "Right, I say we show him up… make him feel crap and wish he'd never picked on us but first I have to apologise to Naboo." The short shaman waddled in and smiled.

"No need. Harold told me what happened when I set Tony Harrison on him… he soon told the truth." Naboo helped up both boys and ginned. "I think I have something in my potion closet that'll make him look like a complete idiot." Howard wrapped an arm around both boys' shoulders and smiled.

"Lead the way."

**A/N: Sorry for the language in this chapter but remembers he was angry. Please review and tell em what'cha thought. **


	15. Dragon's Den

**DISCLAIMER: ****I own no rights to the Mighty Boosh or the characters. I basically own nothing in this story. In this chapter, I don't own Dragon's Den or people on it as mentioned. XD **

**A/N: ****Hi guys, thanks for reading and thanks for all the reviews so far guys, means a lot. :D **

**SUMMARY: ****Vince is the new boy at a boarding school in Leeds but what happens when he makes it his policy to wreak havoc and meets a boy called Howard? **

**TITLE: ****The Boarding School**

**o0o0o0o0o0o0o**

**The Boarding School**

**Chapter 15- Dragon's Den **

"What's this?" Vince asked in pure amazement as he stumbled through the door.

"It's my magic potion lab where I create my best and most powerful potions." Howard frowned as he circled the room, cautiously looking at each detail of the room.

"Naboo? Did you say potion lab?" His voice was the least bit serious and had playful, humoured tones intertwined within each word.

"Yeah, custom built." Howard pointed an accusatory finger at a 'Texaco' sign that had a paper sign glued over it reading 'Naboo's Secret Lab'. "Okay, I renovated a 'Texaco' garage."

"You do realise that means this is an unsafe property. Petrol is still flowing beneath us." Naboo shook his head.

"Nah, don't you worry your jazzy socks off, it's been abandoned for at least five years." Howard smiled and nodded. "I think."

"You think?" Naboo innocently nodded and picked up a bottle with a faded, unreadable label on the side. "Okay that's good enough so what's that?"

"The tears of Robert Smith." Vince smiled and picked up a bottle. "Oh yeah, that's a new hairspray I've been inventing called Goth Juice, made by this stuff. It's got such a powerful hold that you have to soak your hair for six hours to get it out completely… a brush is weak in comparison it just crumbles… yes you heard it right… crumbles.

"No way! Well this is good enough to sell like on one of those shows like… umm… _Dragon's Den_! That was an amazing show and I think we should go on it. I could do your presentation and Howard could do your diagrams and what not… I swoon the judges with my charm and charisma. Naboo nodded… his role model was Alan Sugar. "Not only that but I have an idea to embarrass that dick so much he'll not know what's hit him." Vince smiled menacingly and pulled up a pen and an A3 sketch pad.

**The Next Day… **

"Now go easy on me guys but here we go. Flat hair? Weak hairspray?" Howard was doing all sorts of actions and faces from _Sad Pope _to _Uncontrollable Nod. _"Fear no more hairspray users because we have the solution! Goth Juice! Goth Juice is a mix of Robert Smith's tears and a lovely blend of lavender extract and periwinkle extract to make your hair smell divine." Vince smiled cheekily.

"Won't it make my hair sticky with the extract?" Howard asked and made a very over-dramatic hand gesture.

"Nope! It's a smooth blend assuring complete sleekness and softness to your hair. Be the envy of all Goths with Goth Juice." Vince held up the can and winked, smiling once more.

"Good!" Naboo cheerfully chuckled and held up a piece of paper. "I have an interview with the BBC tomorrow, cleared it with Fossil… this may be the thing that covers up the last headline in the _Guardian_."

"Yeah what was that?" Naboo held up the paper in answer to Vince's question. "Ah yeah… _Fossil's a Biatch!_ _Priest menaced by erotic behaviour of head teacher Bob Fossil during Midnight Mass_. Gripping strap line I can tell you that. Quite an action packed mass that was first the priest then the police showed up then Fossil faced court… then Fossil lost court." Vince sighed and shook his head in disgrace.

"I know. Remember that other one? _34 year old man frightens dog with spatula_? That was terrible… everyone was disgusted by him scaring that dog like that. Poor Ruffles." Howard said and sighed, shaking his head with Naboo.

"Anyway, this product can put us back on the running table for young geniuses." Vince cheerily said and sat on the table.

"Yeah we will. Look Vince, I don't mean to bring you down but you're sat on a very harmful chemical that's probably about you burn into your skin so…" Naboo calmly sighed as Vince jumped up in horror.

"Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God no way! You are kidding me aren't you? He's just kidding! It's a joke and its water with food colouring in that's all." Naboo nodded and smirked.

"Yeah, that's just powerade." Vince hit Naboo with his scarf then wrapped it back around his neck. "Lucky you carry spare pants with you." Vince nodded and pulled some from his bag. "There's a bathroom over there." Vince headed in and got changed then emerged back and sat on a lab stool.

"I may not be organised but in the fashion department, that's where I shine." Vince chuckled as Howard ruffled his hair.

"So what are we going to do?" Vince asked and Naboo smiled whilst slipping on his lab coat over his shaman outfit.

"We are going to mix in chemicals with the hairspray and we're going to be friendly and ask him to be our assistant on _Dragon's Den._" Naboo smiled and poured bright purple liquid into the canister. "There we go! We now have a hairspray and purple hair dye in on… we are going to turn Lance's hair bright purple… in patches." Vince gasped in shock and shook his head.

"Naboo… it's a bit drastic isn't it? Can we not spare the embarrassment and just tell him off?" It was a very French Movie-esc scene with Vince dramatically behind Naboo, his eyes just showing over his head as he was sat down. "I mean you know… we want to embarrass him but that is, that is too dark I am sorry but…" Howard draped an arm around his neck loosely and friendly.

"Remember what he did to you Vince; remember what he put you through." Vince took Howard's hand which was in front of him and nodded.

"You're right, let's go kick some copy-cat asses!"

**The Following Thursday **

_Vince Noir, Howard Moon and Naboo the Enigma walk up the stairs to stand in front of the dragons. Lance is already sat on the chair holding a pen in one hand and the other hand is nervously clenched in a fist position. _

"_Do you have boring hair, lank hair, lifeless hair even?" Vince said and pointed to Lance. _

"_We have the solution! Behold, Goth Juice!" Howard yelled and picked a chunk of hair, Vince spraying it and chuckling when it turned purple. "Adding volume and colour. This bit here." Howard muttered and pointed to a chunk of hair at the side. _

_"Oh got a bit on the skin there, sorry. Yes this does stain clothing, sorry Lance but I'll give you a pound towards a new one." Vince sighed, a drop of it falling onto Lance's T-Shirt. "We are looking for £900,000 and 50% between all three of us." Vince smiled. _

"_Any questions?" Naboo lisped and saw the shock and fury in the Dragon's faces. "Okay then bye! Run." The three boys sped out of the room; leaving Lance sat in the middle of the room. _

"_I am in love with this product! I am so angry we didn't discover it before! I'll give you what you ask, £900,000 and 50% is yours young man weather you win or not!" Sir Alan shook Lance's hand and smiled happily. _

**The Following Day… **

"Can you believe it? Lance Dior, first 14 year old millionaire." Howard disgustedly sighed, his arm draped across Vince's shoulder as the younger man lay with his head on almost on his lap.

"I know but never mind. How would we have spent that much anyway?" Vince shrugged and looked up at the taller man.

"Umm Bookmarks, trumpets, electro CD's."

"Yeah… it is a bit of an obsolete thought innit?" Vince sighed and snuggled into Howard's chest.

"Ah well, never mind, we wouldn't be safe with that amount anyway." Howard smiled and squeezed Vince's shoulder.

"At least I'm not being expelled. Fossil quit to become a zoo keeper at that new zoo, the _Zooniverse_." Howard smiled and chuckled, at least that was one nut job gone, only about 12 more to go.

**The End **

**Well thank you for all the reviews an all and I may make a sequel to how they meet again and them joining the Universe of Zooniverse so look out for that one soon. Cheers you cheeky bitches, love ya'll for reading! **

**Mrs O.G :) **


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